i got no desire to set your pants on fire

ahhhh im so excited to leave tomorrow!
i miss everyone so much.

i am currently happy at where my life is :) everything just came together.

i watched my babies graduate yesterday :)
speaking of graduating, we did ours exactly a year ago today.  thats so weird.  so much shit has happened to me since then that i would have never expected to be where i am right now.  its crazy.


and i am proud to say that i havent been this happy in a long time.  after talking to mike and yelling at him and then hearing what i should have heard a month and a half ago instead of COMPLETE SILENCE i am actually ok now.  all he had to tell me was that he didnt know if he was in love with me anymore.  because right when i heard that i stopped crying my eyes out and realized that its time to REALLY move on.  and not just say i am. 

like i said, i feel so amazing.  these past 2 weeks have been amazing :)

the old port fest yesterday was awesome.  they should have those more often.


i cant wait to hang out with erica tomorrow.  i miss herrrr

TO DO LIST:
-clean my room
-buy clothes
-get my $60 back
-not gain weight
-shower

seems pretty manageable.

i hope its not weird to go to the mall by yourself.

i need to find my sunglasses.
je.

so...i worked 8 hours on my first day back to work and i already want to shoot myself.


yay for summer jobs.

"life is short so love the one you got, cause you might get run over or you might get shot."  i didnt appreciate it until i got run over way too many times for me to emotionally handle. 
i will never, ever let that happen to me again.

"things just didnt work out."
fuck you.  go jump off a cliff you asshole.
 

ADFIOHDNFUHWEUFHNWEFNWEFNWEFHWEUFBWEUFBWEFUWEBFRJHFBHERFBGERH

YOU DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND

i hate myself
i hate my life
i hate him
i hate him i hate him i hate him


i told him that the next time he did this it would be over. its been 5 days since i last talked to him.  i know i freaked out on him but i just wanted to make sure he still cared and i understand i shouldnt have flipped but i said i was sorry and he still wont talk to me

i dont care if everyone thinks im pathetic
i know i am but FUCK i dotn want to end it

there is nothing i want more than to be happy.  and i wont be no matter which decision i make. i hate crying more than anything

no one understands. and no one will. i feel so empty and alone and all i want to do is see him its been so long and i know everything would be fine if i could just see him

wefsdfsdfwefffffffffjnkdsfjni no one understands.

we knew this was going to be hard but FUCK i feel so helpless.  this tears me apart inside and i want to explode and punch walls

please please please talk to me.  i shouldnt have to beg for this...honestly?

he didnt even mail my birthday present.

i fucking hate everything. i just want to curl up in a ball and never get up.

oh...my...god..

i am in complete shock and absolutely speechless.  i come back to the room from classes and the room is clean.  well...my side is always clean, but bitchfaces side is actually slightly presentable.  i think she is going home tonight so that is obviously why she cleaned cause i think she knows i would flip shit if she left it the way she lives.  so not only is the room ok right now, but i dont have to deal with her tonight.  VICTORY.

ANTM is on with whitney's season and im so excited.

im not going to lie...when i come out of calc understanding everything she just taught us i feel really happy.  and when i ace an art history exam i get even happier.
plus the pickles at lunch today were DA BOMB.
those are some bombass pickles hahahah

i leave for home tomorrow with my college BFF Katie.  it is going to be so much fun.  i cannnnnt wait.

i need to draw the motherboard of a computer now.

i wish i had money,
je

so i call them up and they are saying they dont deliver that late at night (it was like 2:50 am) and im like its okkkkkk ill drive there!

so i go like a mile to the calzone place and get it then go back to the parking lot at URI and get out of my truck and about half way back to my dorm im like FUCK WHERE IS MY PHONE so i retrace my steps and look in the truck and go back and ask the calzone place and my fucking phone isnt anywhere
so im like shit now my life is over/my mom is going to kill me
i wake up this morning and run around again looking for it.  its no where and im like ok i need a phone so i go with my friend kristen to verizon.  there, i found out that my parents refused to pay the $6 a month warranty, and im like sweet thanks.  and i wasnt eligible to upgrade.  even better.  so my options were no phone, or a brand new one without rebate which are all like $300.
so im like fuck.  so i look around and i remember i already bought a $30 car charger for my chocolate and im like ill just get that phone again.  so the guy asks which one i want and im like the chocolate and he goes "no...if you could have any one which would it be."  and im like well my brother has the LG Dare and its sweet so probably that one...but it was $410 and im not paying that
so he goes "ok.  im going to give you a discount and after rebate it will be $260."  and im like holy shit...thank you so much but i still dont have a car charger for it and i need one
so he goes "dont worry about that."
i look in the bag, and there is a car charger along with a bunch of other shit that would have come to $83 but i got completely for free.
i was like "you just made my life, thank you so much." and he goes "its nice to be the boss sometimes, you can do things like this."
then i told him i loved him ahahahaahah
and kristen had bought girl scout cookies at the stop and shop and decided to give every employee a cookie. hahahaha what the fuck.
so yeah.  i spend the $260 and ill just tell my mom its my bday gift and she will give me the money back.  hopefully.


so now i have a sweet new phone.  but dont worry my number is the same so you can all keep calling and texting me.